Student Disciplinary Code: The Spoilage Penalty

Cheap101 Office of Student Conduct & Frugal Integrity

DOCUMENT: C101-DISC-REV-2026 | AUTHORITY: Dean Ima B. Cheap, M.S.

Enrollment at Cheap101 is 100% free; however, matriculation is a privilege, not a right. The following infractions represent grave violations of campus fiscal ethics and will result in swift disciplinary action by the Campus Frugal Honor Board.

Article I: Class A Infractions (The Spoilage Violations)

• Section 1.1 — The Liquefied Cilantro Felony: Permitting fresh herbs, spinach, or delicate leafy greens to deteriorate into green slurry inside a plastic produce bag at the rear of the crisper drawer. Penalty: Three weeks of mandatory herb-drying service; immediate confiscation of takeout menus.
• Section 1.2 — The Freezer Burn Desertion: Purchasing pork chops or chicken breasts on manager’s markdown, placing them directly into a standard freezer unsealed, and allowing ice glaciers to consume them until unrecognizable. Penalty: Culprit must consume brown bananas and bruised apples exclusively until pantry inventory clears.
• Section 1.3 — The Half-Avocado Abandonment: Leaving half an unsealed avocado in the refrigerator door until it achieves geological petrification. Penalty: Written reprimand filed on permanent financial transcript.

Article II: Class B Misdemeanors (Retail Incompetence)

• Section 2.1 — Out-of-Network ATM Surcharge: Paying a $3.50 convenience fee to withdraw twenty dollars from an automated teller machine at a gas station or bowling alley. Penalty: Forced balancing of a physical cash ledger with a broken #2 pencil.
• Section 2.2 — Name-Brand Condiment Compulsion: Purchasing nationally advertised yellow mustard when store-brand mustard is eighty-nine cents for thirty-two ounces with identical chemical formulations. Penalty: Offender must strip expired coupons from Sunday circulars for two semester hours.

Article III: Required Remedial Rehabilitation

Students placed on Academic Fiscal Probation must immediately upgrade their domestic infrastructure. Remedial equipment may be checked out via the campus supply line:

Approved by the Cheap101 Disciplinary Committee. Ignorance of unit pricing is no defense under the law.