★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program
Chicken Harness and Leash
“Henrietta and I go on walks now.”
I have a chicken. Her name is Henrietta. She’s an indoor chicken which my landlord says is “against the lease” and “genuinely concerning” but that’s neither here nor there. The POINT is that Henrietta needed EXERCISE and I needed a way to take her outside without her escaping into the neighbor’s yard again (long story, don’t ask). Enter: the chicken harness. It’s breathable, adjustable, and Henrietta looks absolutely STUNNING in pink. We walk around the block now. People stare. Dogs are confused. Children point. I wave like a celebrity. Is this a normal life? No. Is Henrietta living her best life? ABSOLUTELY. She struts now. She has CONFIDENCE. Worth every penny.