Funny Gifts They’ll Actually Remember (And You Can Actually Afford)

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Hen Bag Handbag
“Is that Hermès? No, it’s a rubber chicken.”

It’s a PURSE. Shaped like a RUBBER CHICKEN. It has a zipper down the back and you put your stuff INSIDE THE CHICKEN. I carried it to brunch and the hostess didn’t know what to say. “Can I… take your chicken?” No ma’am, this chicken contains my wallet, my keys, and my lipstick. It goes where I go. People take photos of me on the street now. I wave. I’m basically a celebrity but instead of talent I have a poultry accessory. It holds more than you’d think—phone, cards, sunglasses, snacks. The chicken provides. 100 people bought this last month which means there are at least 100 of us out there living our best absurd lives. Join us.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Rubber Chicken Slingshot
“I’ve been banned from two family gatherings.”

You put your finger in the chicken’s head, pull the tail, and LAUNCH IT ACROSS THE ROOM. It screams as it flies. It sticks to walls. It traumatizes anyone in its path. I brought it to Thanksgiving and launched a chicken directly into my uncle’s mashed potatoes. He was not amused. I was CRYING laughing. My nieces and nephews immediately formed an alliance and staged a chicken war in the living room. Grandma got hit. Twice. She’s ordering her own pack for “revenge.” These things FLY. Like, really fly. With enough force they stick to windows, ceilings, your cousin’s forehead. Best $8 I’ve ever spent. Family therapy is extra but WORTH IT.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

The Gift of Nothing
“They said they wanted nothing. I delivered.”

Every year my brother-in-law says “oh don’t get me anything, I don’t need anything.” So this year I got him LITERALLY NOTHING. It comes in a fancy dome-shaped package and inside is… air. Just air. The package looks super official and high-quality so he really thought he was getting something good. He opened it. He stared. He looked at me. I smiled. He hasn’t spoken to me since Thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be DELIGHTHAT. The best part? It has a lifetime guarantee. A lifetime guarantee on NOTHING. I’ve already bought three more for other family members who “don’t want anything.” Be careful what you wish for.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Chicken Harness and Leash
“Henrietta and I go on walks now.”

I have a chicken. Her name is Henrietta. She’s an indoor chicken which my landlord says is “against the lease” and “genuinely concerning” but that’s neither here nor there. The POINT is that Henrietta needed EXERCISE and I needed a way to take her outside without her escaping into the neighbor’s yard again (long story, don’t ask). Enter: the chicken harness. It’s breathable, adjustable, and Henrietta looks absolutely STUNNING in pink. We walk around the block now. People stare. Dogs are confused. Children point. I wave like a celebrity. Is this a normal life? No. Is Henrietta living her best life? ABSOLUTELY. She struts now. She has CONFIDENCE. Worth every penny.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Bacon Bandages
“My wounds are delicious now.”

I scraped my knee and instead of slapping on a boring beige bandage like some kind of AMATEUR, I wrapped my wound in BACON. Not real bacon—that would be unsanitary and also a waste of bacon. These are bacon-SHAPED bandages and they are GLORIOUS. My doctor asked what happened to my arm and I said “breakfast incident” and didn’t elaborate. The tin they come in is adorable and I keep it on my desk now. Coworkers thin

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Pickle Bandages
“I’m in a real pickle… literally.”

I cut my finger making dinner and instead of reaching for boring beige bandages like a NORMAL person, I slapped a giant pickle on my wound. And you know what? It HEALED. Probably the same as a regular bandage but with 1000% more chaotic energy. My coworkers asked what happened to my hand and I got to say “oh, it’s just my pickle” which is not a sentence I ever expected to say at work. You get 50 in a tin which means 50 opportunities to confuse medical professionals. They’re FDA compliant AND they come in a reusable tin. I keep mine in the bathroom now. Guests are concerned. I am THRIVING. Finally, first aid that matches my personality: briny and unexpected.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Shocking Potato Game
“Hot potato but with consequences.”

Remember hot potato? That innocent childhood game? Someone looked at it and said “what if we added ELECTRICITY?” And thus this beautiful chaos was born. You pass the potato while music plays. When the music stops, whoever’s holding it gets ZAPPED. Not like, hospital zapped. More like static-shock-on-a-doorknob zapped. But still. ACCOUNTABILITY. My family game nights have never been more intense. My son threw the potato at his sister’s face to avoid getting shocked. We’re working through some things. But we’re working through them TOGETHER, as a FAMILY, while getting mildly electrocuted by a fake potato. This is bonding. Probably.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Dehydrated Water Can
“Organic. BPA-free. Also completely empty.”

This is an empty can. Labeled as “Dehydrated Water.” The instructions say “just add water.” I gave it to my brother-in-law for Christmas and watched him try to figure it out for ELEVEN MINUTES before he realized it was a joke. Best $10 I’ve ever spent. He opened it expecting… I don’t know, powder? Crystals? The essence of hydration? NOPE. Just air and betrayal. The can says it’s organic, BPA-free, low-sodium, and gluten-free. All technically true because THERE’S NOTHING IN IT. I’ve now bought five more for various people who have wronged me over the years. The gift that keeps on giving absolutely nothing.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Banana Phone
“Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE.”

It’s a phone. Shaped like a banana. That actually works. Via BLUETOOTH. We are living in the FUTURE and the future is YELLOW AND CURVED. I pair it with my actual phone and take calls on my banana like some kind of tropical businessperson. 20-hour battery life! You can talk on your banana for TWENTY HOURS. I answered a work call on it and my boss asked why I sounded “echo-y and potassium-rich.” I didn’t explain. The mystery is part of the appeal. My kids think I’ve lost my mind but I’ve actually found it. It was in the banana the whole time. Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE. (If you don’t get that reference, Google it. You’re welcome.)

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Toast Crossbody Bag
“High fashion. Butter sold separately.”

I walked into a fancy restaurant carrying a purse that looks EXACTLY like a piece of buttered toast. The hostess didn’t know what to do. “Can I… take your toast?” No ma’am, this is a PURSE. It holds my phone, my wallet, my keys, and my absolute disregard for conventional fashion. People stop me on the street. “Is that TOAST?” Yes. Yes it is. I am carb-forward in my accessory choices. My daughter refuses to be seen with me in public now which is honestly a bonus. More toast for me. I’m eyeing the fried egg backpack next. Gonna build a whole breakfast outfit. This is what peak fashion looks like.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Cell Phone Jail
“The phones have been sentenced. No parole.”

Family dinner was a WARZONE. Everyone on their phones. No eye contact. My meatloaf deserves ATTENTION. So I bought a tiny jail for phones. It holds 6 devices and has a little timer lock. You committed the crime (checking TikTok during dinner), now you do the time. My teenagers acted like I was violating the Geneva Convention. My husband tried to argue his phone had “rights.” It does not. It’s in jail now. We’ve had three actual conversations since I bought this. I learned my son has a girlfriend. My daughter is failing math. My husband doesn’t like my meatloaf. Maybe too much information. But PROGRESS.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Hand-Holding Magnetic Socks
“My feet are in a committed relationship now.”

These socks have little hands on them that MAGNETICALLY HOLD EACH OTHER. So when you put your feet together, your socks are holding hands. This is either the cutest thing ever invented or deeply unsettling depending on your worldview. I bought them for my husband and me as a couples thing. We put our feet together on the couch and the socks hold hands and it’s adorable. We also can’t walk anywhere because our feet are stuck together but that’s a small price for LOVE. Also works great if you’re single—just put them on your own feet and your socks will love each other even if no one else does. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Angry Mama Microwave Cleaner
“She’s not angry. She’s disappointed. And steamy.”

You fill Angry Mama with vinegar and water, put her in the microwave, and she gets SO MAD that steam shoots out of her head. And somehow this cleans your microwave? SCIENCE. I haven’t cleaned my microwave properly since 2019. There were things growing in there. Civilizations, possibly. But Angry Mama went in there and emerged victorious. The spaghetti explosion from last month? Gone. That thing I’m pretty sure was cheese at some point? Vanquished. She looks exactly like my actual mama when I told her I wasn’t going to law school. Disappointed but effective. I wipe everything down after her rage session and it sparkles. Mama knows best.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Shark Blanket Hoodie
“I am no longer a person. I am a shark.”

I bought this for my kid. I’m writing this review FROM INSIDE THE SHARK because I stole it. It’s mine now. You climb inside and the shark EATS YOU and then you’re cozy and also terrifying. My legs stick out the bottom like the shark is in the middle of consuming me. I walked into the kitchen like this and my husband dropped his coffee. Worth every penny. I now attend all Zoom meetings as a shark. “Can you turn your camera on?” Sure. But you’re not going to like what you see. I’m buying three more so my whole family can be a school of sharks. This is my life now. No regrets.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Screaming Goat Book + Figure
“Educational AND chaotic.”

This is not just a screaming goat. This is a screaming goat WITH LITERATURE. You get a tiny goat figure that screams when you press it AND a book full of goat facts. Did you know goats have accents? I didn’t. Now I do. I press the goat, it screams, I read a fact, I feel smarter. This is what education should be. I’ve learned more from this goat than I did in four years of college. It sits on my desk now, judging me, ready to scream at a moment’s notice. My therapist says I’ve “replaced human connection with a goat.” That’s not a question so I didn’t respond. I just pressed the goat.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Bicycle Pizza Cutter
“Tour de Pizza starts NOW.”

Before this, I was cutting pizza like a PEASANT. Just a regular wheel. No handlebars. No kickstand. Embarrassing. But now? Now I ride my tiny bicycle across the cheese like a champion. It has TWO wheels for dual cutting action and a little kickstand so it can rest after its journey. I make engine noises while I use it. My family is concerned. But you know what they’re NOT concerned about? Uneven pizza slices. Because this little bike delivers PRECISION. It’s also a great conversation starter. “Is that a bicycle on your pizza?” Yes. Yes it is. Tour de Pizza starts NOW.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Tortilla Blanket
“I am the burrito now.”

I used to have ambitions. Dreams. Goals. Now I just want to wrap myself in a giant tortilla and become one with the couch. This blanket has ruined me in the best way possible. It’s huge, it’s soft, and it looks EXACTLY like a flour tortilla. I roll myself up and tell my family I’m a burrito. They don’t laugh anymore. They’ve accepted it. My dog tried to eat me once which was concerning but also flattering? 67,000+ reviews and every single person is living their best cylindrical life. Join us. Become the burrito.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Screaming Goat Button
“My coworkers have asked me to stop. I will not stop.”

I bought this for “stress relief” but let’s be honest—I bought it because I wanted a button that makes a goat scream on command. And it DELIVERS. Every time I press it, a tiny goat screams into the void, and somehow that makes spreadsheets more bearable. My coworkers have asked me to stop. I will not stop. My boss scheduled a meeting about “office noise.” I brought the goat. The meeting was short. This is the most powerful $10 I have ever spent. If you work from home, even better—scream with the goat. No one can stop you. Freedom.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Hutzler Banana Slicer
“I’m TIRED of versatile kitchen tools.”

Gone are the dark days of using a KNIFE to slice a BANANA like some kind of Victorian surgeon. This miracle device has saved my family from the constant danger of banana-related knife injuries. My kids can now slice their own bananas and I can finally sleep at night knowing they won’t accidentally make banana sashimi out of their fingers. Does it only work on bananas? Yes. Is that incredibly specific? Also yes. But you know what? I’m TIRED of versatile kitchen tools. I want a tool that does ONE thing and does it with CONFIDENCE. This slicer looks at a banana and says “I was born for this moment.” Respect.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Kikkerland Cat Butt Magnets
“Whoever sculpted these has STUDIED cats. From a very specific angle.”

Before these magnets, I was using REGULAR magnets like some kind of peasant. Now my refrigerator is covered in six lifelike cat hindquarters and I have never felt more alive. The “attention to detail” is honestly alarming. Whoever sculpted these has STUDIED cats. From a very specific angle. For a very long time. My actual cat is offended and has started sitting with her back to the wall. Worth every penny. I put one on my boss’s filing cabinet and got a promotion. Probably unrelated but I’m not taking it down.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Yolococa Tiny Hands Finger Puppets
“They called the police.”

I cannot stress enough how important it is that they include BOTH left and right hands. I bought a cheaper set once and got ten right hands. Do you know how unsettling it is to wave at someone with five tiny right hands? They called the police. But these? These are ANATOMICALLY BALANCED tiny hands. I use them for everything now. Job interviews. Grocery shopping. Waving at my neighbor Dave who I don’t really like but now I wave with tiny hands so it’s ironic. My therapist says I’m “avoiding real connection.” I gave her a tiny thumbs up.

★★★★★
Reviewed by Ima B Cheap
Masters in Savings Program

Electronic Yodeling Pickle
“The cucumber hasn’t spoken to me in weeks.”

Finally, my prayers have been answered. Do you know how much I was spending on yodeling lessons for my regular pickles? THOUSANDS. And they never learned. Not even one decent “yodel-ay-hee-hoo.” Just sat there. Being pickles. But THIS pickle? This pickle YODELS right out of the box. Batteries included! I’ve saved so much money I can finally afford therapy for my other vegetables who now feel inadequate. The cucumber hasn’t spoken to me in weeks.